One More Quiefer
by OnemoreSquall
Summary: Does Seifer really deserve Quistis? bit o language.


One More Quiefer. by One More Squall.  
  
  
  
"Hey, Quisty do you think I'm a bad guy? Seifer said as he rolled over to face his lover. He savoured the face he turned to, its soft features, her long hair all mussed up, her faint, satisfied smile. The dim golden light of the lamp on the bedside table only served to give off an almost angelic glow about her.   
  
"Hardly, dear, now quiet up, we gotta be off early in the morning." she said faintly as her pale blue eyes slowly weighed themselves shut. It had been a long day, and Seifer had made the night even longer. He could never let her sleep. Not that she minded at all, it was fun, and she loved him. Of course, she had never told him, she didn't want to make him scared. As mature as he was getting, he was still afraid of his own emotions. But she was going to change that. Not right now though, because she needed some sleep. She had a class tommorow at 0700 hours.   
  
"Im confused about you, I never really know what to call how I feel, ya know? God, I've known Raijin for waaaay too long. I guess thats what scares me about them, emotions and all that stuff. I know my gunblade, if I swing it like so, "He rolled onto his back, and made a vague swinging gesture, slicing the peaceful air in two neat halfs." I know for a fact that it will do what I wanted it to. Its simple, it has a simple name on which its technique and others are based. its written down, spoken of etc. etc. But not what I feel. There's no textbook that has little pictures to show you how to feel. Its like breaking new ground all the time. I really like you", love?," because you seem to understand this, you're a fun person to break new ground with, I guess I...",what?  
  
(say it Seifer, say it, please, for everything we've done in the past year, all the time we've spent together, please,I need to hear it.)  
  
"...just...sorta...I.." He took on a very pained expression, as if he didn't know what to say, and it was killing him. Or he knew what to say, and not saying it was killing him."...Dunno. Sorry." He rolled over again, away form Quistis, and hugged his pillow tight. At least he couldn't screw up with a pillow. He had fought armies single-handedly before, he had stood against the most feared warriors of the time(but lost) and never without a wink of fear. WHy was everything meaningful he said to his Quisty so...impossible? He hardly deserved to be in the same room as her, after what she had given him over the last year, especially after what he had done to her his whole life. The pain, the annoyance, the trouble he had been in her class, everything. He wasn't meant to be with her. Seifer's head became swollen with his inadequacy, he felt a need, for what he didn't know. Quistis could give it to him, and she would, if he knew what it was. It was a longing for someone to...feel sorry for him. He had been a terrible person all his life, fighting bullying, turning his back on people who needed him. He had always made himself out to be a victim of circumstance, he had no parents, he was brainwahsed or whatever his excuse. This time he had no excuse, he was just not plain good enough for her. He looked over his shoulder at the familiar shadow of his love, and seeing she was asleep, or almost there, he slowly slid out of bed, practically crawled over to his pants, and quietly crept to the door. It opened noiselessly and he padded into the hall, not even bothering to grab his worn trenchcoat off the hook on the wall.  
  
  
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Early morning light filtered through the shades over the window, illuminating the small room and its few furnishings, dark bars of shadows were draped across everything, the couch, the table, the half-empty bed. The day was cool, and a light breeze was creeping in quietly through the slightly open window. It squeezed its way through the shades without rattling them too much, then swirled around the room, a small piece of it danced its way across the bed, and did a pirouette on the sleeping face it found there. The face's nose gave a slight twitch and her head did a little shake, and the breeze moved on.   
  
Quistis blinked her eyes open, and lazily pulled her hands up to rub the sleep out of them. She pulled her head a bit off the pillow; A good night's sleep, no thanks to Seifer, she thought to herself. Again she thought about him and remembered a bit more of last night, then flopped back down onto the pillow, and enjoyed the warmth of the bed a bit more. I'll get up in a minute. She closed her eyes and rolled over to where she knew her Knight would be snoring quietly.   
  
Her hands hit the bed again. Her eyes bolted open, looking for Seifer, only to be shocked when they couldn't see his familiar form. Oh fuck, where is he? She darted out of bed, and looked over the room. Only his pants were missing. She knew he wouldn't have left voluntarily without Hyperion and his trenchcoat. There were always with him. She rushed over to the door to see if it had been forced open. Maybe some anti-sorceress zealot had come and taken him off in the night. No, impossible, nobody could overcome Seifer without at least waking me up in the process. She felt herself tensing up. It was a feeling she hadn't felt since she saw Squall dance with Rinoa for the first time. She couldn't handle this feeling. She could feel the panic rising within herself, she looked around for any clue that could lead her to think that Seifer hadn't abandoned her. His gunblade, his jacket. but maybe he left those behind on purpose. To tell her he had just gone for a walk or something. That was it, just a walk. She shakily walked over to the coffee machine and turned it on. A bit of coffee would calm her down a bit. She continued over to the couch, and sat down, trying to compose herself. He was gone. She couldn't stop the flow of fear and self-loathing from coming into her mind, he hates me, I pushed him to hard, he never really loved me, nobody could ever love me. I really deserved this. Her knees hit the floor, and she soon collapsed fully to the ground, the tears of sorrow flowing down her face like blood from a fatal wound.   
  
  
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A dark sky hung over Deling City when Seifer finally arrived there. The journey had been long, and he was pretty tired, but the city always rejuvenated him, ever since he first saw it. he remember the day clearly, though that time of his life was anything but clear. Edea had just made him her night, and they had gone to Deling City to await the grand parade, where Edea was planning to kill Deling and take over Galbadia completely. He hated that part of his life, he thought he had been living his dream, being a powerful sorceress's knight, and having command of a vast army. But that wasn't his dream, he felt empty as he had sent the Galbadians against the Garden, he felt emotionless as he had faced Squall with the sorceress behind him. Quisty was his dream. He had been living his dream for the last year, with Quisty there when he woke up in the morning and Quisty there when he fell asleep at night. The first thought in the morning and the last thought at night, and just about every thought in between. He had been living his dream. But nobody deserved to live their dream, especially Seifer, after all the suffering he had caused. Life was not his to enjoy. He paced his way throught the dark near-empty train station, feeling about as wanted as the discarded newspapers that had became homes to vermin. He pulled a cigarette out of the pocket of the shirt he had bought in Balamb. Thinking back he recalled arriving shirtless and shoeless in balamb early yesterday, and he hopped onto the first ship out. He had wanted to stop in Dollet, it was a nice little harbour town, but it reminded of her. His last failed attempt at the SeeD exam was there, he remember her that day, She looked serious and professional in her grey SeeD uniform and carrying her clipboard. She was even wearing her glasses, which she didn't do very often. He could remember every move she made, every time she tucked her golden hair behind her ears, absolutely everything came flooding into his mind. It mad him panic. Inside him, he felt his pulse quicken, and the blood start to flood through his body, pulling him forward. He broke into a run as he hit the street, he had no clue where he was taking himself, only that he was in a hurry to get there. He had never felt like this before. Was Quisty celebrating her freedom? Or had he made the worst choice of his life? He pushed his way through the crowds of people that always filled the sidewalks, being propelled ever onward by a feeling of such hideous fear and unknown panic. It blinded him, yet he continued to move forward. He was running through the shopping arcade, making his way out onto the street, he shot right when he got outside, when had he went inside? the world was a blur, the tears made it hard to see. He pushed through a familiar door and down a carpeted flight of stairs. The music filter quietly through the feeling as Seifer practically slump onto the bar. A bored looking bartender lazed his way over, idly rubbing a glass dry with a rag, only to be gruffly pulled over with a strong arm.   
  
"Get me something strong, in large quantities and get it fast, or I will kill everything in this fucking room." The bar at The Hotel Galbadia never again reached the paradigm of effeciency and service that it attained at that moment. A bottle was brought over and a glass filled before the wild man could even think of moving his hand to where his gunblade would normally be resting.  
  
Seifer was lost. he had nothing to do but drink. He watched with vague interest as the bottle slowly drained, and late into the night, right in the middle of a beautiful reminiscence about Quistis hair, Seifer slump over, knocking over his glass and empty bottle, and slowly slid off the bar, and crumpled onto the floor, unconscious.  
  
He woke late in the morning, when some cruel hand pulled back the blinds and subjected Seifer to the monstrous onslaught of sunlight. He shook his head to the left to get out of that bright flare, but in doing so caused an avalanche of pain to cascade through his head, and shatter his consciousness, scattering the piece from here to kingdom come. Darkness came over him, dragging with it saddened dreams of better days with his one love. So melodramatic, his dream thought to himself. Go back already, she probably crying still. YOu mean a whole fucking lot to her, though you don't know it. If you could only not be so fucking stupid, and just say three little words. There is NOTHING to lose. Look at yourself. you don't even know where you are, could it be any worse than this? His dream self turned and walked away, leaving a tired, hurting boy to cry in his sleep.  
  
  
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Selphie knocked on the door, and waited. No answer. She tried the button, it was locked. Where was she? She was supposed to be teaching a class. This was so unlike Quistis. The latest Selphie had ever seen Quistis for ANYTHING, was five minutes early, and that was for the SeeD graduation ball. Hmmmm, maybe Seifer was in there, he usually slept in pretty late, maybe they had a looooong night. Selphie tittered and bounced from foot to foot, maybe she should talk to Irvine tonight... But, still, Quisty needed to be at her class! She knocked the door again, and waited. And waited. Selphie was getting worried now, this was so not like Quisty. Selphie took off to to find Squall, he had access keys to the rooms. What if something had happened? Selphie sped into a sprint, heading towards the bridge that Squall called his office. The people in the halls weren't moving fast enough, her luck to be in a rush between classes, it was packed. She jogged her way through the students, pushing as hard as she could. Down the blue hall, around the main circle, across the bright foyer up the stairs. The elevator can't come fast enough. Selphie is getting really worried, what if Seifer snapped? What if he had just been biding his time, waiting to exact his revenge, the door opened. floor 3, please. I knew he was no good from the start! He was not be trusted. Selphie was a trusting person, but Seifer was just plain mean, he was evil, he had proven it, he was the ENEMY for pete's sake!He ran down the carpeted hall to the gilt double doors that were the entrance to the office. She pulled them open with little difficulty and burst in on Squall and Rinoa, making out on his desk. It didn't matter right now though, Selphie rushed over, grabbed Squall's arm and pulled him off his very startled partner, and half-pulled, half dragged him out the door. Rinoa fix up her her hair and charged after them.  
  
"Selphie! What's wrong?"Rinoa looked almost frantic, she could tell when something really bad had happened.  
  
"Its Quisty! She's not in class, so I checked her room, its locked and nobody's answering it, I'll bet Seifer did something to her!", was the breathless reply. Selphie was Jumping up and down trying to move the elevator quicker.   
  
"Calm down, now. It's probably nothing." Squall said pensively, he had his arms crossed, like always, and seemed lost in his thoughts, like always. Rinoa looked at him, wondering how he could go from so passionate, to so distant, so quickly? He was a marvel of a paradox.   
  
By the time the trio reached the floor again, the halls had emptied, and they made their way quickly to Quisty's dorm. Squall checked the door, then pulled out a large keyring from his usual black jacket, he flipped through a few keys, then found one he seemed to like, and unlocked the door. There was a faint click, then the door slid open to reveal Quistis huddle on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, crying. The whole room smelled like burning glass, somebody had turned on the coffee machine without adding any water. The bed looked slept in, and the blinds were still closed, the place was a mess. Rinoa and Selphie had quickly dropped to their knees to check Quisty, and Squall continued to survey the room. Hyperion was in its scabbard on the ground, and Seifer's jacket was hanging on the hook beside him. It was confusing. Seifer wouldn't go to the bathroom without his jacket and hyperion, let alone leave the same room. Somebody must have com in during the night. That or Seifer must have changed more than Squall could ever imagine.  
  
It wasn't until later that day that Quistis had calmed down enough to tell Selphie and Rinoa what happened, about how she woke up alone, about what Seifer had said last night. All the while Selphie had been nodding to herself, as if she had known all along that Seifer was immature, and not to be trusted with so much as a library book, let alone another person's love. Out of both of them,though, Rinoa understood the best. Seifer was as bad as Squall, it had taken a long time and a lot of goading before Rinoa got her man to say those words, even then, Rinoa knew that Quistis would never accept anything she had to push for from Seifer. It must be tough for him, she figured out, He's pretty lost in this world, he has a lot of enemies, and a lot to answer for. She still felt, deep within her, a certain bond with Seifer, lasting back from the summer they spent together all those years ago.   
  
While the girls were talking, Squall, at Rinoa's suggestion, had headed off to Balamb to check around there for any sign of Seifer. He didn't know why, Seifer probably just took off, and not like he would just hang around Balamb if he did. What an asshole, Squall didn't want to meet up with Seifer, lest he snap at that guy and kill him. How can he just go around hurting people? What right does he have? Why does Quistis put up with him?It just made no sense. Squall had seen the good in Seifer, but hardly enough to merit him as a good person. No sense at all. Squall walked up to the Lady at the small window shop, and asked her if she had seen anyone that matched Seifer's description. What he was told surprised him; apparently he had shown up at closing, bought a pair of sandals, a shirt and a pack of cigarettes, then took off towards the docks. What the fuck, Seifer just can't see the truth.   
The docks were almost empty, as most of the fishermen were out right now, busy collecting the morning's catch. There were a few old men hanging around a wooden crate, smoking a playing cards, but no others. Seifer you numbskull, can't you see that you had it all? You're probably off looking for something to fight aren't you? He just did't make sense. The old men had seen somebody like that, he headed off on an earlier boat out to Dollet. Then off from Dollet to anywhere on a whole fucking continent. Squall didn't know why, but he had a vague feeling that Rinoa was going to be angry with him when he got back. But what did it matter, at least she would be there in the morning. A sickening feeling came over Squall, a fear, a panic, he wanted to see Rinoa. He HAD to see Rinoa. To hear her voice, see her smile, to look into her eyes and know somebody loves him...  
  
  
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To hear her voice, see her smile, to into her eyes and know somebody loves him...  
  
Seifer popped awake. The room was small and white, with a bed and a window, and a tv tucked into one corner. The light outside was waning, nearly night, but a while yet of dusk. He swung his legs over the bed, and felt the carpet beneath his feet, he pulled himself up, and weakly moved to the wall to steady himself.   
  
"You shouldn't drink like that ya know?" A familiar voice said from an unseen doorway.  
  
"OUCH..."  
  
Seifer turned to see his posse standing in the doorway. He hadn't seen them in almost a year. He remember the last day they were together, they had gone fishing...and swimming. It was the most fun he'd ever had. The next day, Raijin and Fujin had hopped on a train, and headed out to Deling City, for reasons Seifer never understood. How did they find him?  
  
"How did you guys find me?" Seifer said groggily, still feeling a little off-kilter. Why did they bring him here, to...their...home? He had always figured that he was the reason they left. he had been alone after that. Until Quistis had came along. There it was again.   
  
  
"We went out for a drink last night ya know? And guess who we find passed out on the floor?" Raijin said, with his old ya know.  
  
"I haven't heard you say that in so long. And frankly, I think I missed it."Siefer saw the big man in a new light. My god, I have changed.  
  
"CHANGED..."Fujin exclaimed, echoing his thoughts perfectly.  
  
"You guys saved me. thanks a bundle, you're a great posse. A lot more than I deserve, really."Seifer realised there was only one bed in the room. And that both Raijin and Fujin were wearing rings. Seifer did a double take."YOU GUYS GOT MARRIED??? and you didn't even bother to tell me?? I thought we were a posse!" It was true, the two people that knew him the best in the world just took off, he thought they just didn't want to stay at the Garden; they just wanted to get away from him and enjoy their lives. He felt his world slip away, nobosy was there for him. They probably brought him here out of pity. Pity. He hated it now. He turned away, not being able to look at his "posse" anymore. He wanted to get out, quickyl, then go do...something! He didn't know. He turned back to face his oldest freinds, he felt anger rising in him. He couldn't beleive what they did to him. Words were frozen in his mouth when he tried to say something, nothing came out. It was liek noghitn he had ever felt before, it was a bottoming out, nothing could get worse. he moved towards the door  
  
"Whoa! Relax Seifer!Its only been a week! we were gonna call you before we did, but to tell ya the truth, we were totally bombed when we did it, we just kinda woke up married ya know?" Raijin stuck his hands up in the air, trying to get Seifer to   
  
"SECRET!!!"Fujin yelled as she planted her foot squarely in Raijin's shin. As big as he was, Fujin had a vicous foot and he grabbed his leg. Something's never change.  
  
That simple act broke something in Seifer, and he started to laugh. He couldn't help himself. He'd been away from Quisty for 2 days now, and he knew he had to go back. He realised what everything he felt was, words connected with meanings. It all worked out now, and he realised he loved her, and couldn't wait to tell her. He felt like a child in a candy store, or a kid with a new toy, he wanted to use it, but to use it, he needed his Quisty. He knew that he loved her, he finally realised that if he didn't deserve to live his own dream, then at least he owed it to Quisty to let her live hers. He no longer felt arrogant or conceited when he thought that she loved him as much as he loved her. He realised that people could like him. his posse proved it.  
  
Both Raijin and Fujin just stared at him as he collapsed to the floor laughing. A chuckle bubbled to the surface as Fujin realised how funny it was. She had always thought of it as something stupid and sad. But now, she realised she wouldn't have liked anything better. She was laughing now, and Seifer was almost dead he was laughing so hard. Tears were streaming down his face as he rolled around the on the floor.   
  
Raijin looked helpless as he saw his best freinds hurting themselves laughing. He just didn't get it. Fujin looked up at his confusion, and decided to explain it, she grabbed his collar and pulled him down for a kiss. It was long and hard, Riajin might not have gotten the joke, but there were something that weren't as complex to understand. In the midst of his rolling mirth, Seifer saw that his posse had other things to do, and got the heck out to let them do, grabbing his shirt off the floor, he snuck past the occupied couple and left to do what he knew he needed to.  
  
"Love ya, Fuu" he exhaled as they broke apart innutes later. He could see she was smiling now, and crying, and not tears of laughter, but different tears, tears of happiness.   
  
"I..love..you..too...Raijin." Fujin said, her voice sounding soft and human. It was the first time he ever heard he say a sentence. Ever. He scooped her slender figure up and gave her a hug that could have juiced a rock, Then tossed her easily onto the bed, and hopped on with her, planting kisseson her all the time. She was the greatest, and always had been, ya know?  
  
  
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Quistis hadn't taught in four days. She was dead, completely, she couldn't leave her room, she could hardly get out of bed to eat. She was worried about him, what if something had happened to him? Hyperion lay on the bed that still went unmade. It was the only thing clean in the whole room, she spent hours on end, polishing its slick blade, just as Seifer always had, hoping to find some clue in her reflection on the crystal clear blade. She stroked it gently, praying for her Seifer to come back safe. She had convinced herself that he would never abandoned her, though her freinds had their doubts, they hadn't said so, but she knew them well. Seifer come to me! She forced herself to get out of bed, and get dressed. It all seemed like such a chore, what was life without him? COuld my life be over, at this age, has the best passed me by, while I wasn't looking? I thought becoming an instructor would be the pinnacle of my life, yet leave only better things to grow into. but she was wrong, the best thing had been him. Him just being there, smiling at her. SO simple, yet, something that brought a purpose to her. He expressed what she had to say, what she felt, everything. He was hers, and she his, without any complications in the matter. No. she had to move on, he wasn't going to come back for her, would her? a failed teacher and morose human by the time she was 20, fuck.   
"No, I'm going to go outside today, and sit on a bench, and act like a human. I'm going to be alive today, I'm not just going to waste away waiting for him to dash in, tell me he loves me, then drops to a knee and proposes. I'm going to accept this as I accept all his other flaws,(She mentally went over the short list of things she hated about him, no, maybe just mildly disliked; the list started and finished with a problem about a misplaced toothbrush that he had fixed as soon as she told him about it.) and he will come back to me, when the time is right." Now dressed, the young instructor grabbed a sheaf of paper and headed to the door, prepared to face ANYTHING the world could throw against her, without so much as a bat of her lashes.   
  
The door slid open before she got there, revealing a young man standing there, decked out in fine new clothes, and carrying a small box in his hand. Seifer's green eyes flashed in the sun from the open window, and the breeze tugged at his short cropped hair. He cut a fine figure of a man, and looked good with Quistis. It was as if their bodies just complimented each other's.   
  
He dropped to a knee in front of the incredibly shocked woman, and spoke in a clear, practised tone,  
  
"Quisty, I love you. I'm sorry for leaving, but I needed to straighten out my thoughts. Marry me, Quistis!"  
  
She said nothing, all she did was slump forward into his arms, and she didn't wake up until the next morning, where she immediately scream:  
  
"YES!! I LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"  
  
  
  
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I really hate when people leave mad amoutns of notes in their fics, but Im gonna do it anyway, I hope you guys like it, its probably the best fiuc Ive put up so far, which isn't saying very much, but PLEASE review? I need some feedback so I don't feel real sad and lonely, thanks fer reading, I hope you enjoyed it! ps. I am writing another story, but I need suggestions on what to write about?? 


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